An American take on Gradius.

When the Vic Viper eats a cheese burger, it grows slightly larger, the goal of the game is to eat as many cheese burgers as possible before fighting the final boss. You get bonus points if you don’t miss a single cheese burger.

Made because some faggot was whining about how japan games are much better than america games, and that america games suck ass because they use english voice actors. Take that, David Hayter!

Women drivers

They always find the best places to park.

Now you may be asking me “But Law, how do you know it was a woman driver who parked there so inconsideratly? It could just as well have been a man!”, to which I would reply “I saw her exit the vehicle”.

Right there. Parked on double yellow lines, with a car parked on the opposite side of the road, leaving a small gap for two-way traffic to pass through (For the record, and SUV wouldn’t have been able to pass through, causing either an accident [People tend to try and push their way through traffic] and/or a blocked road).

You’d think somebody who’s main job is to drive would know how and where to park. It wasn’t even bumped up onto the curb.

Christmas blog time?

No, I guess not, since we aren’t really allowed to call it “Christmas” anymore, at least not in Britain. No longer will we be greeting people with the phrase “Merry Christmas”, it’s just not politically correct these days (What is?). You may think I’m shitting you, but I’m honestly not. Due to “multi-cultural Britain” (more like immigrant land) just by saying “Merry Christmas” in the street (to a friend, or to anybody) will instantly get you a plethora of offen(sive/ded) looks.

Other subject time now.

So I’ve been playing the Shin Megami Tensei Online: IMAGINE closed beta for the past couple of weeks (Figured I’d try it since I played the Japanese version for a couple days a year or so back).  Not been playing it constantly or anything though, and I only have a few screenshots up. During the course of playing the game however, me and a friend happened to run into a psycopathic Japanese (Wapanese, most likely) 45 year old who was shouting nonsense about 2012 conspiracies and how Barock Obama was going to destroy the world. Fun times were had and many laughs over Skype were shared (That’s him in the screenshot stating that he is the “gaem”, if you’re playing and happen to see him in game, tell him Lawlulz says he’s a faggot).

Sean

I miss you ;_;

Persona 3 FES

So it came out on Friday in Eurofagland, and I got my copy. Where’s yours?

Honestly though, just put it in my PS2, I’ll probably play for a few hours then make a new video.. then go back to it for the rest of the day/night.

Also, Castlevania Order of Ecclessia is out. Great game, and good music too. Record 1 is a must play during every boss fight.

Updates

Since I’ve been recording, I decided to check out this blog and churn out a post.

Okay, where to start…
I started playing WAR, is a pretty good game. Has a lot of bugs that need ironing out, though. In terms of DS, I’ve been playing a lot of Time Hollow. It’s a great game, but way too short. If you like Phoenix Wright/Hotel Dusk/Point and Click Adventure Games you’ll like Time Hollow. I’ve also been playing the DQ4 port. I think it’s been done pretty well, the graphics are quite nice and the music is good. A shame a lot got cut out of it..

College is still fun, I guess. Pretty draining shit though. I still don’t have any friends.

Also, Time Hollow full theme song/opening video looping.

P.S. Konami can’t stop making games that make me cry :’(.

N+ (DS) Review

Wut? A review? Not really, I’m just going to bash on the game for a paragraph or two then tell you to buy it anyway. What’s that? You’ve never heard of N? It’s a flash game where you play a Ninja that runs around levels collecting Jew Golds for no real reason whatsoever.

Anyway, the graphics are nice, to an extent. By that I mean that the levels seem quite detailed, but the Ninja himself is.. well, a bunch of black pixels stuck together. The music is pretty terrible, and the sound effects are far from excellent. If you were to play this game, I would recommend turning the sound off. It makes decent use of the DS’ two screens. The bottom screen displays a zoomed in screen (which you should be paying the most attention to whilst playing) and the top screen displays an overview of the whole level. No touch screen controls (Other than menus, from what I recall). Gameplay is smooth, I didn’t encounter anything close to slowdown and the game is simple.

Although, even though I said it’s simple there are still a few moments where it turns around and says “fuck you”. It isn’t even the fact that the game is hard. It isn’t. At all. A few (read: most) of the levels are plagued with artificial difficulty, though. By that I mean a wall that has a coat of bombs that you must walljump over, which usually ends with a near-miss (if you can even manage it).

The unlockables in the game are pretty much useless. After about 10 minutes of playing I had unlocked a few different colours of ninja (read: different colours of pixels) which I could (I assumed) use instead of the black pixels, yet I didn’t see an option to change. The menus are pretty bad and I haven’t explored the WiFi option yet, so I can’t comment on that. The game includes a level editor and probably a few other things I don’t care about.

tl;dr: Buy it, but don’t expect much, especially since it’s on an 8MB cart. Play it whilst taking a dump or whilst riding on a bus, but don’t take it seriously.

Oh, and one last thing. The level design is pretty much horrible compared to the original N. Either oversimplified or filled with artificial difficulty.

Sweet

I just finished downloading 7.4GB of Final Fantasy OSTs.

Koei – Helping stop international piracy since 2008

So a little while ago (Probably last month) I sent an email to Koei asking them if they had any plans to localise Persona 3: FES in Europe, a few days ago I got a reply (sadly, I hardly ever check my emails).

Hi Law

I hope you like the news below.

Mikey

PERSONA 3 FES IS COMING TO EUROPE THIS OCTOBER

The RPG event of the year just got bigger, better and badder than ever.

Hertfordshire, UK- July 21, 2008 – KOEI today announced that Persona 3 FES will be released across Europe on PS2 this October. Persona 3 FES offers gamers the ultimate version of this classic high school adventure with a brand new chapter featuring 30+ hours of gameplay and an enhanced version of the original game featuring new content and features. Persona 3 FES is set for release on PlayStation 2 across Europe on October 17.

Persona 3 FES is a standalone edition to this award winning series and does not require the original Persona 3 to play. However, save games from the original Persona 3 will work with this new enhanced version while the new story is accessible right from the start and does not require playing through the original adventure beforehand.

“We’ve been inundated with requests to bring this highly regarded RPG to Europe so we’re delighted to finally be able to give RPG fans what they’ve been wishing for.” Said KOEI’s Sales Manager Will Curley “Persona 3 FES represents the very pinnacle of top quality RPG gaming and has already received some amazing review scores upon release in the US that have even surpassed the remarkable widespread acclaim for the original game.”

About Persona 3 FES
Lead a group of high school students with a dangerous extracurricular activity: exploring the mysterious tower Tartarus and fighting the sinister Shadows during the Dark Hour, a frozen span of time imperceptible to all but a select few. However, the end of their quest is no longer the end of the story. Witness for the first time the aftermath of the final battle and the students’ struggle to find meaning in their new lives.

Key Features:
- Acclaimed by critics and fans – Experience the definitive cut of the award-winning Persona 3, which garnered tons of critical acclaim and the adulation of a devoted fanbase.
- More than just an expansion – Persona 3 FES contains an enhanced version of the original game, loaded with new Personas and cutscenes, a weapon synthesis system, additional quests and events, a hard difficulty mode, and the ability to change your characters’ clothes.
- 30 additional hours of gameplay – Take the role of Aigis in a brand new Persona 3 episode that plays as a full game with an original story, extra cutscenes and objectives, and seventeen new music tracks.

Having already received widespread critical acclaim for releases such as Disgaea Afternoon of Darkness, Atelier Iris and Phantom Brave, KOEI have now bolstered their line up of RPGs even further with this latest release and are fast becoming one of the foremost European publishers of quality Japanese RPGs. Already renowned as the leading name in the tactical action arena with their Warriors series of games having sold over 18 million worldwide, KOEI continues to look for opportunities to bring many more diverse titles to European gamers and add to the success of titles such as Soul Nomad, Devil Summoner and the hugely popular G1 Jockey series.

Persona 3 FES is the latest installment from Atlus in the Megami Tensei series that has entertained gamers in Japan for many years. The previous four Persona games have sold over 1 million units in Japan. The various games throughout the series have taken gamers from present day Japan to unique periods in history, and have given players incredible abilities and remarkable moments of excitement, shock and breathtaking entertainment.

So now I need to send him a reply. Perhaps something along the lines of “Thanks, now I won’t have to pirate the US version”.

Nintendo?

Moar like “Wintendo”.

Old news, I know. But I still felt like posting about it since I seem to neglect this blog every now and again.